Well, I've kinda gone through just about everything about the race over and over in my head and with a couple people. Not much to say about it now. My main thoughts/excuses/reasons for the result are mentally giving up, lack of motivation, and somehow I did feel tired during the race despite literally being in the best shape of my life and not having run the 10k the day before like Mell and Sarah. Coach said he thought we peaked too early and probably will adjust the schedule for next year. But I don't know. I'd like to think it was that, but definitely owes at least a little to a mental/emotional loss of motivation- not just during the race, but in these past few weeks as well.
But I can't be negative. (<lol negative sentence) We have three weeks off! and then summer training to regain a base, relax and loosen up from the racing mentality, and hopefully get back to the point where I am motivated by how much I love the sport. I never lost the love of running, just over the past month I felt obliged to attribute my motivation to something more materially, but that proved to fall through and affected my races. From now on I will remember why I am really doing what I am doing, something that is hard to keep in perspective when you feel like your sport is just masochistically torturing yourself, emphasis on the definition of getting joy out of it as well.
((I know my thoughts don't really make sense and I don't care to since this really is just mainly for me to look back at))
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